


Somebody to You

by psychotic_fangirl369



Series: Midnight talks [2]
Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Boys In Love, Cute, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 10:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11712981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychotic_fangirl369/pseuds/psychotic_fangirl369
Summary: Baz remembers the first time he realised he was in love with Simon.





	Somebody to You

**Author's Note:**

> Heya. This is the second work in Midnight Talks, however they are not related!!! You do not need to read the first one before this. 
> 
> That being said, enjoy.

Baz can't help himself. Staring at his roommate is just as much a part of himself as his own skin. Simon just has this aurora about him; Baz can't help himself. He sits on his bed, gazing at the other boys sleeping face and curses himself for being so damn creepy. But he can''t help it. He's fifteen and in love with a boy who just so happens to be his sworn enemy - with a boy who he will either kill or be killed by. He's tried to stop loving Simon. He truly has. But the other boy is so insufferably beautiful - inside and out - and no amount of trying will rid him of these feelings. 

The first time he realised that he didn't hate Simon was when he was twelve years old. He had been in the middle of class, laughing cruely when Simon answered the most obvious of questions wrong. The other boy had tossed a glare at him and there was pure hatred in his eyes. Baz had stopped laughing instantly, the chuckle dying in his throat. I could never look at Snow like that, he had thought, coldness filling him. 

The first time he realised that he wanted to be friends with Simon, he was thirteen years old. They were playing football when Simon had run off the field in the middle of practise. Baz had followed, meaning to taunt and mock him, but when he saw Simon sitting on the grass, his legs tucked up to his chest whilst he rocked back and forth, he felt all his plans seep away. He sat down next to the trembling boy, placing a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "It's okay." Simon had laughed bitterly, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. 

"I can't control my own bloody magic. How is that okay?"  
The magic was shimmering around them but Baz wasn't scared. Instead, he had smiled. "At least if you go off now, I'm the only one you'll hurt. I'm sure that thrill you."  
Simon snorted in disbelief, his eyes glued on Baz's face. Baz had gazed back at him and was pleased to see that Simon's shaking had stopped. The blond boy smiled. 

"Thank you."  
Baz nodded. "You're welcome."  
  


The first time he realised that he wanted to kiss snow, he was fourteen years old. Simon had barged into their dorm room, his face tear stained. The paths that his tears had followed visible on his pale skin. His hair was disheveled and wet. He had ignored Baz, slamming the door forcefully. Baz had remained sitting on his bed, staring at Simon in shock and confusion. He had been about to inquire what was wrong, knowing that he'd simply get a sarcastic insult in reply but willing to attempt it anyways, when Simon had reached for the hem of his shirt and tugged it over his head. He had stared at the other boys bare chest in awe and all he had wanted to do was press his lips against each and ever mole that dotted Simon's fair skin. 

 

The first time he realised he was in love with Simon was five weeks ago. He had been walking down the corridor when he stumbled upon Simon and Agatha kissing. They didn't see him, to engrossed in each other. This swell of hatred had filled him and he was stunned to realise just how badly he wanted to take Agatha's place. He knew that he had a crush on the boy, had been fantasising about his lips for over a year. But watching him be so happy, so sickeningly in love with someone else, was an entirely new basket of pain. Simon had pulled away from Agatha and caught Baz's eye over the girls shoulder. The smile on his lips had faded when he noticed his roommate watching him and he had tugged on Agatha's hand, leading her away, but not before looking over his shoulder to meet Baz's gaze once more. There had been this look in his eyes - this unrelenting question of uncertainty. He had scanned Baz's face, before smiling slightly and looking away. And it was in that moment that he knew. The only person he could ever love was Simon fucking Snow, and he was the one person he could never have. 

 

Baz pushes away the memories and lies down in his bed, sighing deeply as sadness fills him. It can never happen. He rolls onto his side and closes his eyes. 

"I love you, Simon," he whispers to the darkness. Then he drifts of to sleep.

If he had only stayed awake a moment longer, he would have heard the soft reply, so quiet that it barely filled the room.  "I love you, too, Baz."  
  



End file.
